Tuesday, December 23, 2014

A Nutritionist's List for Santa

Dear Santa,

Before you look over my very big list, let's establish my inherent goodness and behavior this past year. I have been faithfully eating my greens, avoiding processed foods, helping others achieve a higher level of health, yoga-ing myself into a variety of contortionist postures meant to facilitate my spiritual growth, and I've been giving out a lot of free hugs this year. Please keep this all in mind as you read through my wish list for Christmas 2014

1. The complete disappearance of foods made with trans-fat, HFCS, and GMO corn syrup from the shelves of the grocery store. I'd love to see whole, unprocessed foods in their place.

2. Convince companies to not use lead in making lipsticks. I'd like to use Burt's Bees colors again.

3. Corn and soy should not be GMO or subsidized

4. Wine should be pure, no sulfites

5. I'd like a nice co-operative housing situation on the west coast, with an organic farm in the backyard, chickens & bunnies, and an herb garden; it may double as a yoga retreat

6. Monsanto should 'disappear' or become bankrupt because people & the government have stopped buying their poison seeds and chemicals

7. Dietitians should be covered by insurance (if they want to); for those of us who want to tell the truth without playing their game and having to share sensitive client information with the insurance company, we will continue in this matter

8. Change government subsidies. I'd like you to have a nice long chat with the USDA Secretary of Agriculture, Tommy Vilsack, to ensure that wheat, corn, soy, and sugar will no longer be subsidized; instead kale, cauliflower, lentils, walnuts, and organic meats will be :)

9. Cooking classes should be required coursework in the educational system. If people are going to feed themselves (and others) in a healthy manner 3x a day, this needs to start early. It's truly a shame that most elementary school kids cannot identify fruits and vegetables.

10. I would love to have non-dairy, magical no-calorie :D Jeni's ice cream on occasion

And also, please help the delicious dinner and desserts I plan to eat on Christmas not go directly to my mid-section. Thank you!

Your faithful dietitian,



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